How To Potty Train…When It’s Not Going As Planned
Okay, when you are having a baby, everyone talks about sleep or lack thereof as the most challenging part of raising kids. No, no, ma'am, that was not the case for me. Potty training was horrible. Like had me wondering if they make diapers the size of high schoolers because that's what I will need. If you're reading this, chances are you may be feeling the same way. I am going to tell you how I finally did it, what got me through it and, the best potty training products!
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First things first, nothing is wrong with you or your child. Give yourself a break. You are training a toddler to do something they have never done before. I had read everything about potty training in 3 days, and I thought, okay, this will be hard, but by day 3, we will be done! WRONG, WRONG WRONG. Enter meltdown here. Let's back up and let me set the stage for you quickly.
I am a stay-at-home mom with two kiddos. At the time of potty training, my son was 2 ½, and my daughter was 10 months old. It was the beginning of summer, so I thought it would be the perfect time to run around with his undies on learning to use the big boy potty! He checked off all the things you should look for if assessing to see if your child is ready for potty training.
Pulling at a wet or dirty diaper.
Hiding to pee or poop.
Showing Interest in others' use of the potty or copying their behavior.
Having a dry diaper for a longer-than-usual time.
Awakening dry from a nap.
Understanding bathroom lingo
I had all my potty gear ready to go, I was mentally prepared (so I thought), and I was off to the races!
Our Quick 3-day synopsis:
Day 1: He peed and pooped in the potty!!! My child is perfect, and I am an amazing mom!
Day 2: He kinda peed in the potty, but that's okay; they say the second day can be challenging.
Day 3: He has peed everywhere BUT the potty - I have washed 10 loads of underwear - he will be in a diaper until he is 20. I suck at this mom thing, and I officially give up.
By day 4, I had so many meltdowns I felt utterly useless. I felt like my son was never going to get it. NEVER! Before I would throw in the towel, I decided to call my son's pediatrician to get their feedback. The nurse told me what I needed to hear. She told me she had 4 kids 3 boys and 1 girl. She had been a nurse for over 20 years and told me this: "I have never heard of a child being completely potty trained in 3 days." You probably could have heard my sigh of relief from the moon. There wasn't anything wrong with us!! She said yes, boys tend to take longer than girls and are more stubborn. She said I could stop for a while and see if he started asking to use the potty if I wasn't thinking it was going anywhere.
I felt so much better after that conversation. Some people can do this 3-day thing, it wasn’t us. After my son woke up from his nap, I decided to ask him if he wanted to go back to diapers or keep using the potty. He told me he wanted to keep using the potty, to my surprise! So I picked myself up (literally, I was sitting on the floor) and got my mind right. I scoured YouTube, read more blogs, and finally had my potty training "aha moment."
I know my son better than anyone else! I had ditched my usual parenting methods and got sucked into the "3-day hype." I used methods that worked great for other people without thinking about my son. What motivates him? What works for him? What doesn't work for him? Yes, this was a completely new adventure we were on, but I was going at it blind. So instead of using one method, I would use them all and see what worked. Haha. Which is how I usually roll.
Game Plan Essentials:
Our General Potty Training Schedule
Wake Up: Potty
My son would freak out if I forced him to potty right away, so we would give him about 20 mins to wake up, then I would tell him someone was going pee-pee on his potty!! This is where his current toys would come in handy like these. We would set up a toy on his potty the night before, and he LOVED it. It got him excited and without a fight to get into the bathroom and use it. Then we would have him pick out which undies he wanted to wear for the day, and boom, off to a great start!
Timed Potty Breaks:
For the first few days/weeks, I would set a timer between potty breaks/tries. Thanks to my trusty Echo, I could just tell it to set a timer without trying to find my phone; remember to actually set the time amidst the chaos - it was a lifesaver! We started at every 15 minutes and worked our way up from there based on what I could tell worked. After a few days, he passionately would tell me when he did not need to go.
When We Have Potty Action!
Woohoo!!! You don't have to fake a happy dance. You will legit be ecstatic! They will feed off your excitement and realize, hey, if I go potty, I make mommy and daddy super happy I may keep this up! I had bags of prizes. At the time, my son was super into trucks and sea animals. So I bought these trucks and animals, and they worked great! He loved digging into them and picking out his prizes. Sometimes he wasn't into rewards, and that's where the candy and book/stickers came into play. He used this book and liked the stickers at the back he could use when he went potty. Sugar is definitely a treat around here, so the mini m&ms were great! My son loves music so we would also use the Echo for some dance parties to celebrate!
Naptime:
Potty before nap, and I put his pull-ups on for nap time but was sure to call them his "Nighttime undies." I wanted him to understand they were still underwear, and he wasn't supposed to go potty in them. He is a deep sleeper and sometimes woke up wet, sometimes didn't. It took him about 3 weeks before he was consistently dry, and I stopped putting them on for a nap.
After Nap:
I would give him a few mins to wake up before changing him into his undies.
Night Time:
Same routine as a nap. Potty before bed - and pull-ups at night.
Biggest Take-Aways
Potty Training Is Hard!
It is a mental marathon, you will ask your kid every 5 minutes if they need to go to the bathroom, and it will drive them crazy. Then you will realize if I keep asking them, they will never have the chance to tell you they have to go! It's hard for everyone.
2. Trust Your instincts!
You know your kid better than anyone! You know what will motivate them, what won't, and how they react to new situations. If you have tried everything and your instincts tell you they aren't ready, then give it a break and come back to it in a few months.
3. Use Your Tribe!
I will always say your tribe is essential. You will need feedback, ideas, vent sessions, tissues. Anything to get you through this.
4. Patience
Whether it's the newborn stage, a sleep regression, learning the word "No!" You have spent months working on patience. This is no different. Lots of deep breaths, essential oils, chocolate, wine, whatever helps you navigate this potty mess. Remember, every child is different. Boys vs. Girls. First kids vs. Second. Second vs. Fifth, just give yourself and your child a break. It is new for everyone. Don't compare them to your child's friend who learned to potty in one day. Supposedly. Just stay in your lane, and you can do it!
5. Pull-Ups Only For Sleeping!!!
This was a big deal for us. My son KNEW it when he had his pull-ups on and would definitely take advantage of the situation. It would have taken a lot longer to train him.
Final Thoughts
You can do it! Stick with it! Do what is best for you and your child. The more serious you take it, the more serious they will. Take in all the information to put it in your toolbox and see what works. It took my son about a month to go to the potty, tell me he had to go consistently with few accidents. Honestly, once I changed and checked my expectations and mindset, it wasn’t that bad. Just like sleep training, eating, walking, or learning the alphabet it’s a TRAINING PROCESS = and there is light at the end of the tunnel! Despite what you think, you won't have a 20-year-old in diapers 😉
These are my absolute necessities with potty training and when having a toddler going potty in the house!
We use this all the time! Especially in the car or even if we are playing outside! It also folds nicely so you can put it in your diaper bag, That way you can use it on the go on top of a regular toilet!
Lysol Wipes
Whether it is to clean up the floor, walls, or toilet these are great to have on hand!
It’s easier to use after your LO goes poop. Just keep them on hand
Hand Washing!
Hand Washing! Because one day they will be going to the bathroom on their own!
This video made me laugh so hard during potty training. This dad captures potty training perfectly!
