Friday, February 05, 2010

Five: I Think I Fell Asleep While I Was Peeing

Just for a second. I have not been wanting to mention that Erik and I are fighting back simultaneous colds for fear that writing it down would tempt the pre-travel gods. Especially since we both seemed to have escaped the stomach virus. But it is time to face facts. I also haven't mentioned that Erik is currently closing a deal and is working every bit as hard as I am. We are run down in body and mind. Last night in bed I was an overtired infant unable to calm my body enough to fall asleep. So this morning I took a quick nap while I was peeing.

Last night five of my lovely friends took me out. (Thank you Bryna, Janna, Leslie, Mima, and Wendy!!!) Toasted me and Yonas with Prosecco. They asked me questions because they really care. They held me up and promised support that I already knew was there. And in return, do you know what I did? (Besides feel blessed and humbled?) I accepted.

Not too long ago it was hard for me to accept help. Nearly impossible for me to ask for it. But in the last few months the futility of living that kind of life has become clear. We aren't meant to do it alone. I don't mean just parenting. I mean all of it. Life. It's too much.

So now when someone asks what they can do to help, I tell them. When someone offers to take my girls to school or fold my laundry, I say yes. It's still a bit outside my comfort zone sometimes. But each time I allow someone who cares about me, my life; each time I yield and surrender, I grow. My heart opens. And my own experience of helping someone I care about tells me that theirs does too.

In this final countdown to bringing Yonas home I may be stumbling a little, but I know there are people who care enough to catch me before I fall.


Bridget said...

I wrote about you in my morning pages today (Artist's Way). That may sound odd and creepy....I hope not! I just was reminding myself to comment on your blog...b/c I have been thinking of you every day now....and I am so so so so so happy for what is going to only days away. I toast my vino to you and yours from Colorado!

foreverisamoment said...

Oh, you are so close. Although, I know what you are experiencing right now is so powerful emotionally and you are just riding the waves, I love to see your willingness to write about it, and I have to say, this is my favorite title to any blog post I have read ever. Enjoy every moment of your time in Ethiopia meeting your son; bring pepto, bring garlic, bring probiotics and a little tylenol pm (or your brain will process well into the night!!) and enjoy. every. second. of the beauty around you. hooray!