(If I hadn't committed to NaBloPoMo I wouldn't be posting today. I don't want to bump the post about Brad, and I can't figure out how to embed the music in the post so I will have to delete the music tomorrow. )
My grief regarding Brad's death is multi-layered and I think it is in large measure because it is impossible not to experience this loss through the lens of motherhood. People grow up and things happen to them. Sometimes wonderful and beautiful things, other times tragic. As a mother I watch my children grow into the people they are meant to become, watch them rise to their best selves and watch them struggle, knowing I can not protect them from the pain that comes with simply being human. I can parent, pray, guide, yell, whisper, bend, take a stand, plead, laugh, worry, hug, and love all I want. But nothing I do will keep the tragedies of life, small and large, away.
And so tonight, as I reluctantly post on this blog of motherhood and life, I send peace to Brad's mother, from the young woman I was when I knew her son, and from one mother to another.
And tomorrow, I will post about motherhood and life. Because the tragedies and joys of life, the lovely and the chaotic, they keep moving on.
A Second (Bad) Self
1 day ago